How does it feel working alongside a person who you would rather avoid if given the chance? Does this person drive you crazy sometimes? Would you like some ideas on how to address this type of situation?

Dealing and working with difficult people at work can be draining. It can be frustrating and downright miserable. But it does not have to be. Recognizing destructive behavior and not mirroring it is the first step in managing the situation.

Here are some tips to help you deal with those difficult people at work.

Stay Calm: Losing your temper and flaring out at the other person is not a good way to get the person to collaborate with you. Instead, be aware of your own triggers and focus on staying calm. This can be hard, but lashing out at the other person is counterproductive.  When the person you are working with sees that you are calm despite whatever he or she does, you will start getting their attention.

Build a Rapport: With all the emails and messaging systems, work sometimes turns into a mechanical process. You can re-install the human touch by connecting with your colleagues personally. Go out with them, get to know them in person, and learn more about their hobbies, family, and lives. Fostering a strong connection will go a long way in your work. You can learn more about them with an internet search and by networking with others and asking what they know about the other person. Consider spending more time with them and asking small talk questions and really listening to what they have to say.

Avoid: If you have already tried everything and the person is still not being receptive, the best way might be just to avoid the person as much as possible. Get on with your daily tasks and interface with the person only when needed. You can respond in a way that would depict that you are concerned about their comments. If this is not feasible in case the person plays a critical role in your work, follow the next tip below.

Escalate to higher authority for resolution: If everything fails, consider elevating the case to your manager. Sometimes, the top-down approach is the only way to get someone moving. But with that approach, you must be careful and predetermine what works with your boss. Also, make sure that you are calm when communicating to explain what’s troubling you, how it impacts your job, and how you wish for the situation to be addressed. Take notes with you, if appropriate. Consider bouncing your ideas off a mentor ahead of time to test out what, when, and how you bring this up. This can be the most effective in moving people who just refuse to cooperate otherwise.

Try out the above tips when working with difficult people at your workplace and see how they work out for you. If you have other ideas, please share them with me. I can be reached at mg@mikegreg.com.